After getting full custody this week and getting three months worth of back pay for my child tax credit and universal child care benefit adding up to almost 1500$ I was definitely feeling the need to celebrate and so last night G spent the night at Nana’s house while I went out for Mommy’s first night away from baby. It was overall a good thing and a positive step for me. I went to a dance for the ball tournament my slo-pitch team is playing in this weekend. I did miss him and I don’t think I had as good a time as I would have normally but I couldn’t help feeling guilty. As though now that I’m a mother I don’t deserve to go out and have fun. I was worried that it was too soon to leave G and people would judge me for leaving my little man with a sitter. Also I realized that when I went out pre-baby and pre-pregnancy probably 90% of my energy is focused on men and thinking about which men are single, which men are checking me out and which men to avoid. Now though, I don’t feel like dating is going to be a good idea for quite some time I have to rethink my going out strategy and get used to just enjoying myself, my adult time and spending time with friends who I don’t get to connect with all that often.
The night was fun though and I did enjoy wearing a dress, doing my hair and makeup and having a few drinks. The fact that I couldn’t feel my nose or mouth after two drinks and I had to escape at several points throughout the evening to hand express my size G boobs, shooting the milk into the toilet definitely added a certain something to the evening. Do any of you have any funny memories of your first night away from baby?
In other news I celebrated getting my Child Tax Credit by rejoining the modern world and buying a cell phone. I have gone without one for the past year and now that G’s here I’m feeling like I need to be reachable in case of an emergency. I did enjoy the feeling of being able to ignore people’s calls though and call them back when it suits me. Thank goodness for caller id and voicemail though, I am SUCH a call screener. I am looking forward to being able to do more text messaging now though as dorky as that may sound…it’s the one aspect of having a cell phone that I’ve really missed. Also this week is going to be SO busy which I’m feeling much more ready for now that some of the stress of dealing with Daddy Dearest and my finances has eased. I am moving on Thursday so I have really got to get my act together with packing and cleaning. It’s hard to know what to pack, what to keep, what to throw away and what to pack now and save for later. It will get done though, I am SO lucky to have so much help and family support though and I am definitely looking forward to being moved into my new house. Right now I’m living with my sister (Auntie T) who is great, but her boyfriend who spends every night at our house is a bit less fantastic. My older brother lives in the basement suite underneath us. The living arrangement was going well but our landlords sold our nice big house on us so we were forced to find other arrangements. In light of these changes my parents decided to invest in a revenue property and by a second home for us to rent and so our new arrangement is that my brother (Uncle J) and I are going to rent this new house off my parents and pay the mortgage and so everyone wins. Although my sister is less impressed with her arrangements…
Anyways G has reached his jolly jumper threshold and is yarking for a change of pace so off we go for a walk. Last but not least though I wanted to wish all you good dads out there (like my own) a happy Father’s day. A special happy father’s Day greeting goes out to all you single moms though!
Mommy’s First Night out…
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